Today is the day for all fathers – stepfathers, grandfathers, fathers here and now and fathers passed.
Every day should be Father’s Day or Mother’s Day, but commercialism dictates we put aside one a day to honor fathers, mothers and grandparents.
Today, I honor my father by the memories I have stored in my mind or visual images through photos.
It’s a pity the age of cell phones with cameras came a bit too late. I’m sure I would have taken a ton of photos of my dad over the years. So most of my photos of my dad, and to quote a line in an Elvis song, “are pressed between the pages of my mind.”
I never really understood the profound meaning of that line, but I sure do now.
As time goes on, my memories of Dad get dimmer and dimmer. After all, he’s gone 23 years now and he was ill for 14 years before that. To remember vividly from 37 years ago is not easy.
There are times when I have forgotten the sound of his voice. It’s sad.
With my mom being gone for a bit over three years, her voice is still strong in my mind, and of course, I have plenty of photos of her.
When Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer-type symptoms, I knew it was the beginning of the end. Watching his candlelight dimming with each year that passed before his ultimate death at 66 years old was painful.
When my father worked at Tobyhanna Army Depot, he was the commander of the Veterans Council for two years. I used to tease him about the title, equating it to being the high school class president. Essentially, that’s what it was.
During his tenure as commander, he had to speak at a rededication for a veterans statue at the depot’s administration building. Dad was not very comfortable with public speaking and I know he had to be nervous speaking in front of a crowd, but he performed his duty and there was an audio cassette made of his speech.
Ever since his illness and death, I’ve searched high and low for that tape and, for the life of me, can’t find it. It would mean the world to me if I could locate it. I’ll keep looking.
A few months ago, I did come across a video recording of him in the early stages of his illness when none of us knew what was really going on with him. We were all very short with him and, at times, because of our own ignorance to what was really happening to him, our patience was spread very thin.
Going through Dad’s disease did help me understand things much better when my mom suffered dementia in the last few years of her life. I was much more compassionate and understanding with her than I was with my dad.
I miss the guy very much.
Dad was a great guy. I say that not because he was my dad, but nearly all I’ve come across who knew him tell me so.
He was well liked, had a great sense of humor and loved to laugh.
I’m flattered when his old friends and acquaintances tell me I remind them of my dad.
I don’t really get that compliment too often anymore, though, because of lot of Dad’s friends have passed away. If he had lived this long, he would have been 90 years old this past May 18.
I can only imagine what my father would be like as an elder statesman. I would have his wisdom and life’s experiences at my disposal to help make my life easier.
Thirty-seven years without a father’s advice to lean on is a long time. I definitely feel shortchanged in that category and I was always jealous of friends who still had a dad in their life for many more years than I had mine.
I was lucky to have my father’s dad around 4 ½ years longer than my dad if I ever needed fatherly advice. But he too had issues in the last few years of his life. I always felt bad for him because he had to bury my dad and his middle son.
And even though my dad is gone, I am the dad of two girls, now grown women. They don’t come to me too often for advice or my opinion, but I would always help out as much as I could.
Father’s Day is associated with giving dad that perfect gift.I miss getting my dad a gift, but now it’s my daughters’ turn. And, I’m not hard to buy for (wink, wink).
I’d like to wish all dads a happy Father’s Day and, to those without a dad like me, I hope you can keep your father’s memory alive and honor him the best way possible.
Quote of the week
“True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in the worth and choice.” – Ben Jonson, English dramatist
Thought of the week
“You had better live your best and act your best and think your best today for today is the sure preparation for tomorrow and all other tomorrows that follow.” – Harriet Martineau, English essayist
Bumper sticker
“All journeys have destinations of which the traveler is unaware.” – Martin Buber, German Jewish philosopher
