Happy Father’s Day!
Yep, it’s our day as dads to bask in the glory of fatherhood. It’s a day during which we dads get to be pampered, fed and presented with a power tool we’ve always wanted.
Father’s Day has always been a tough one for my two daughters. Both struggle with getting me something they think I would like — my daughter Tiffany, in particular. Ashley doesn’t struggle as much, but in the end, I appreciate whatever they decide to get me.
Honestly, it doesn’t matter what they get me. All I ask for is love and respect and the ability to be there for them when needed. And yes, to offer advice which often falls on deaf ears.
I can recall a story conveyed to me from Don Cassetori many years ago. Don was Tiffany’s tennis coach in high school and, when her high school career was coming to an end, Don asked her if there was anything she would have done differently while learning and playing the game. Her response was, “I wish I listened to my dad more.”
What Don doesn’t know is that I did everything I could that day to hold back the tears. To this day, I still get choked up thinking about it. I believe that is what every parent wants to hear — the fact that our child heeds our advice and respects what we say or think.
Parenting is not an easy job and I always admire children who took the advice of their parents to guide them into adulthood and beyond. That’s always the rub, isn’t it? Whether or not our children think they know more than us, they will do things on their own without consultation. Granted, not everything a child does needs to be discussed, but once in a while doesn’t hurt.
It’s hard not to think of my late father, Frank, on this day. Dad was a great guy and he loved people. He loved being around people, doing things for people and making people happy the best way he could. I can’t count how many times Dad’s friends tell me I’m just like him. It’s very flattering.
I’ve written many times about my dad in the past regarding his demise as a result of Alzheimer’s disease. Having dementia is something that can happen to anyone during their elder years, but I never expected it to happen to my dad in his early 50s. I wasn’t prepared for that.
We spent seven years trying to establish what his illness was, followed by seven years in a nursing home until he passed away in 1996. It’s hard to believe he will be gone 20 years next year. Because of my dad, I launched my writing career, penning my first article in 1991, which turned out to be a cover story for the Sunday Dispatch, thanks to the late John Watson.
For most of my adult life, I haven’t had the privilege and honor of having a father to lean on, to get advice from, to share moments or even enjoy male bonding time. I often wonder what it would have been like if he were alive and healthy all those years.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve “talked” to my dad just to get a sign that I was doing the right thing. I’ve spent countless times visiting his gravesite to sit in utter silence, knowing I was physically as close to him as possible.
I’ve missed many opportunities and events with my dad. It’s been tough, for sure. I’ve helped raise my two children without any fatherly advice. What would Dad do? How would Dad handle this? I wonder if Dad had to face this problem.
I’ve made a ton of mistakes in my life and will continue to do so. I only wish Dad were here to have my back and point me in the right direction.
I miss you Dad, each and every day.
Quote of the week
“All you have to do is ask any child, frankly. You don’t have to ask a child development researcher if fathers make a difference. All kids will tell you that the presence of a father makes a big difference.” – James Levine, American musical conductor.
Thought of the week
“The worst sorrows in life are not in its loss and misfortunes, but its fears.” – Arthur Christopher Benson, English writer.
Bumper sticker
“Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never die.” – Roger Ebert, American film critic.
