I’ve always said, even though we celebrate Mother’s Day but once a year, I believe every day should be Mother’s Day.
We do owe so much to our mothers, and it may not seem that way when you’re younger, but as you get older you begin to realize how much mom means to us. We certainly realize that even more after our mothers pass away.
This is my 21st Mother’s Day column and the last five have been without my mom. I’m not going to lie when I tell you how sad that makes me.
We take for granted when growing up that mom will be with us forever and at times, it does seem forever. When you’re in the moment living life and moving forward, sometimes with your own family, the years just begin to slip by.
Picking up the phone to ring up my mother was second nature. There was always something comforting hearing your mother’s voice at the other end of the phone. No matter what kind of day you were having, mom being there made the day so much better.
Don’t get me wrong, not every relationship with your mom, or dad for that matter, is always rosy and there have been plenty of trying times between a mother and child, but when a parent is gone, all those arguments are forgotten.
I’ve written numerous times how my mom was a tough lady. She ran a tight ship and in most cases, it was her way or the highway. She won 99.9% of all arguments, that’s for sure.
She did not have best life growing up. As a matter of fact, it was a very difficult upbringing being the daughter of immigrants from Italy. Her parents barely spoke English, and her father Mariano died when she was but 8-years-old; he was only 41.
My grandmother, Nella, was left with four young children in a country she barely knew, in an area with which she was unfamiliar, and with no family to turn to.
I give my grandmother so much credit to keep moving forward and never giving up. She worked hard to keep her children clothed and fed. She did whatever she could do to earn money like sew and clean for people.
Three of her four children had to leave school in order to support the family. The youngest, my Uncle Edo was the only one to graduate from high school.
Growing up without a father and having to work at such a young age after leaving school in the ninth grade had to be devastating to my mother. She always told me if she was able to high school, she wanted to be a nurse.
When my grandfather died, all of her dreams went out the window, and it was a matter of survival.
It always amazes me that a woman with very little education was able to teach me so much about life. She may not have had a high school diploma or a college degree, but what she taught me about life was so much more valuable.
Mom taught me to respect my elders, she taught me proper manners, she taught me to take nothing for granted and how important it was to value your personal property. What was once new will remain new as long as my mother was around.
That last statement was so true and if any of my relatives could remember, mom bought a parlor set that had a plastic covering for two decades. Trust me, we were never allowed to even sit on it.
As I got older, the mother-son relationship faded into more of an equal friendship. Oh, she still had her moments when she’d tell me she was my mother and she was the boss, but it was comforting to be able to have a conversation with her on an adult level.
I recall just a few weeks after she passed away, I caught news of a family friend that also passed away. When I got the news, I actually picked up the phone to call my mother with the news.
There wasn’t a single thing that my mom couldn’t whip up on the stove. She was number one when it came to cooking and baking. Everything, and I mean everything she made tasted so darn good.
She wasn’t happy until you ate … and ate … and ate. Being Italian, it was in her DNA to make sure we were happy through our stomachs.
I think we all use our mother’s cooking as a barometer of every one else’s cooking. “This doesn’t taste as good as Mom’s.” “Mom made this better.” “That’s not how Mom would have made this.”
We owe so much to you, dear mothers.
I very much miss my mom and wish I could talk to her one more time and just hug her once again.
The last gift mom ever gave me was while she was lying in the ER, she came to, opened her eyes and the last thing she said was, “Give me a kiss.”
I didn’t think it was possible, but with each year that passes, I love my mother more and more.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom, I hope you know how much you are missed.
Quote of the week
“Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary – it’s an act of infinite optimism.” – Gilda Radner
Thoughts of the week
“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.” – Cardinal Mermillod
Bumper stick
“All I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” Abraham Lincoln
